How to deal with criticism (Type of feedback)

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Created date

Mar 11, 2023 10:32 AM

3 types of criticism

The video is about how to deal with criticism effectively. The speaker, Dami, shares his experience of receiving criticism from his colleagues and how it affected him emotionally. She then explains that receiving feedback can be challenging, and it is important to categorize the different types of criticism, such as evaluation, coaching, and appreciation.

Evaluation is generally focused on assessing performance against predetermined criteria.

Coaching is focused on providing guidance and support to improve performance

Appreciation is focused on recognizing and acknowledging someone's efforts and achievements.

Emotional response to feedback is the hardest part to deal with

Dami advises that the emotional response to feedback is the hardest part to deal with, and one must identify what triggers those emotional responses to have better control over them. He identifies three types of triggers: truth triggers, behavior patterns, and identity triggers.

Truth triggers are emotional responses to feedback that is perceived as wrong, unhelpful, or unfair.

To handle truth triggers, one must acknowledge that everyone thinks differently and try to examine themselves for any blind spots in their thinking.

Behavior patterns are behaviors that are unknown to us but are pointed out by others, such as using filler words.

For behavior patterns, one should listen to feedback that others provide and make changes accordingly.

Identity triggers are emotional responses that arise from feedback that threatens our sense of self-worth or identity, such as criticism of our values or beliefs.

For identity triggers, one must separate their self-worth from the criticism and not let it define them.

Example of feedback

Here are concise, easy-to-understand examples for each type of feedback and trigger:

Evaluation:

"Your report met all the required criteria and was submitted on time."
“Your report missed three key points from the brief; please address them next time.”

Coaching:

"Try using more data to support your arguments in future presentations."
“Try organizing your presentation slides more clearly to improve audience engagement.”

Appreciation:

"Great job on leading the team meeting today. Your preparation was evident."
"Great job on meeting the deadline; your hard work really paid off!"

Example of trigger

Truth Trigger: "This feedback is unfair because it doesn't consider the time constraints I was under."

Behavior Pattern: "I noticed you often interrupt others during meetings. Try to be more aware of this."

Identity Trigger: "Being told I'm not a team player makes me feel like my entire work ethic is questioned."

How to implement feedback into one's life

In the second part of the video, Dami talks about the importance of implementing feedback into one's life and provides tips on how to do it effectively. She emphasizes the need to approach feedback with a growth mindset and to focus on specific actions and behaviors that can be changed or improved. Dami suggests creating a plan to address the feedback and setting specific goals to work towards. She also recommends seeking support and accountability from others to help with the implementation process.

Relevant Resources:

How to deal with criticism (LIKE A PRO) - YouTube

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